Would I rather not know?
Life is a great teacher and you learn something everyday. Its a good thing don't get me wrong and knowledge is power, but sometimes innocence is bliss.
There have been a few occasions now when i have learned some new fact. Interesting in its own right and while it is processed through the gears of my mind it trips a few flags and forces me to realise things I don't want to. Its a bit like finding the hidden puzzle piece and then realising you don't like the completed picture. On a very very small scale its like discovering TNT and knowing almost instantly that it will be used to take lives. But that is perhaps melodramatic.
What I learned today is simple enough, a random stat. 20% of people who fracture their hip because the bones are weak will be die in the next year.
There isn't anything really dangerous in that, nothing too sinister. I cant see how it will be of USE to me but I suppose its one of those things you just have to learn if you want to be a doctor.
And then, when I think about it and its starts to find its resting place somewhere in my mind it stirs up all sorts of thoughts that id rather not think.
What about so-and-so, didn't they have a hip fracture... it wasn't too long ago either was it...
Or what about Mrs J she has pretty frail bones and is a bit unsteady, i hope she doesn't have a bad fall.
Or cool, now I have something to say if i know someone has broken a hip... wait a sec, why on earth would I say that...
Or what if someone asked me what knew about broken hips...
Maybe I'm over analysing but I cant see why i would want to know. The best possible use that could come of it would be to make me the bearer of bad news, of the grim prognosis.
Or consider another example, I have been given a Cancer patient to follow he is a great guy, a 82 year old man, still running his own business and doing very well by it. We had a nice chat (as nice as one does given the circumstances) and when i went away I tried to read up more on his condition. My tome of a text book was strangely empty, all it said was, 'little is known about this type of cancer and prognosis is poor 5% at 5 years.'
Did I really want to know that? When I next met him he ask what I'd learned... I said not much.
Or in less medical surrounds you suddenly realise the world isn't as friendly as you thought it was. In a sense your glad to know, a lesson hard learned and all, on the other hand the friendly world wasn't all that bad.
The question is, would I rather not know?
What if a family member or friend were to call me up and describe symptoms to me which were not at all pretty. Would I rather not know? Would I be glad i could be of help or would I even tell them what I knew. Would I pretend that wasn't my area and suggest they see a GP?
What if I found out a friend had had an affair, stolen or back stabbed. Would I want to know. Would you? I know I would be eager to hear the gossip as it came out. Eager to learn each new fact in the lecture, but at the end of the day would i be pleased with what I had learnt? Would you?
At the end of the day, when I've grown up and experienced the big bad world, will I look back and wish I never had? Will I wish I lived in a world where as long as you had a few plasters you could mend a broken heart. Where you'd always be friends forever, no matter what, and where a pound dropped in a bucket would feed all the hungry children in the world.
There have been a few occasions now when i have learned some new fact. Interesting in its own right and while it is processed through the gears of my mind it trips a few flags and forces me to realise things I don't want to. Its a bit like finding the hidden puzzle piece and then realising you don't like the completed picture. On a very very small scale its like discovering TNT and knowing almost instantly that it will be used to take lives. But that is perhaps melodramatic.
What I learned today is simple enough, a random stat. 20% of people who fracture their hip because the bones are weak will be die in the next year.
There isn't anything really dangerous in that, nothing too sinister. I cant see how it will be of USE to me but I suppose its one of those things you just have to learn if you want to be a doctor.
And then, when I think about it and its starts to find its resting place somewhere in my mind it stirs up all sorts of thoughts that id rather not think.
What about so-and-so, didn't they have a hip fracture... it wasn't too long ago either was it...
Or what about Mrs J she has pretty frail bones and is a bit unsteady, i hope she doesn't have a bad fall.
Or cool, now I have something to say if i know someone has broken a hip... wait a sec, why on earth would I say that...
Or what if someone asked me what knew about broken hips...
Maybe I'm over analysing but I cant see why i would want to know. The best possible use that could come of it would be to make me the bearer of bad news, of the grim prognosis.
Or consider another example, I have been given a Cancer patient to follow he is a great guy, a 82 year old man, still running his own business and doing very well by it. We had a nice chat (as nice as one does given the circumstances) and when i went away I tried to read up more on his condition. My tome of a text book was strangely empty, all it said was, 'little is known about this type of cancer and prognosis is poor 5% at 5 years.'
Did I really want to know that? When I next met him he ask what I'd learned... I said not much.
Or in less medical surrounds you suddenly realise the world isn't as friendly as you thought it was. In a sense your glad to know, a lesson hard learned and all, on the other hand the friendly world wasn't all that bad.
The question is, would I rather not know?
What if a family member or friend were to call me up and describe symptoms to me which were not at all pretty. Would I rather not know? Would I be glad i could be of help or would I even tell them what I knew. Would I pretend that wasn't my area and suggest they see a GP?
What if I found out a friend had had an affair, stolen or back stabbed. Would I want to know. Would you? I know I would be eager to hear the gossip as it came out. Eager to learn each new fact in the lecture, but at the end of the day would i be pleased with what I had learnt? Would you?
At the end of the day, when I've grown up and experienced the big bad world, will I look back and wish I never had? Will I wish I lived in a world where as long as you had a few plasters you could mend a broken heart. Where you'd always be friends forever, no matter what, and where a pound dropped in a bucket would feed all the hungry children in the world.
posted by Kreg at 2:17 PM
2 Comments:
I think the distinction we have to hold on to is what you know and how you react to it.
As long as we don't abdicate our reaction, we can't be hurt badly by what we know.
It is the moment knowledge dictates a reaction, when we proceed directly from information to judgment, without allowing the human element to express itself , that we find knowledge to be a burden.
I work as a physiotherapist, and your hip fracture stat struck me as very pertinent. I also find it difficult to work in the hospital with so many patients with cancer and others at the end stage of their conditions (renal failure, COPD, cirrhosis...). It is hard to know that people can have a very poor prognosis and our job is to basically balance their quality of life with their comfort and safety in what time they have left.
I definitely use the high risk of hip fracture with poor balance and osteoporosis to encourage my patients to use more equipment around their house to make them safe (walkers, bath seats, grab bars on the walls, toilet commodes, etc.). I find the seniors that I work with are well aware of the poor hip fracture stats without explicitly discussing them, as it is their friends that are passing away due to hip fractures.
As with your conversation with the nice gentleman in this 80s, I find that treating people with dignity and respect, showing them that I still value my interaction with them despite what their medical prognosis may be, helps me to get through the day. For me, it is important to be present and real in my interactions and not let myself disengage from the situation prematurely because I feel overwhelmed by their future.
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